|
Episode 26: Operation C.O.C.K - part 1 of 3
Jeremy “No Relation” Ebert
,
7/17/2006 11:45:06 AM
If you think the Farrelly Brothers are high brow entertainment, then the SMM Crew is for you.
Once again, the geniuses at Seeking Madam Mushroom have endeavored to create three minutes worth of disjointed, yet refreshingly cheap entertainment to the internet masses - or whoever actually is aware that www.eatthemushroom.com has nothing to do with Timothy Leary. This, the first of a three-parter, otherwise known as a thrillogy, is more of the same.
If you think the Farrelly Brothers are high brow entertainment, then the SMM Crew is for you.
Moving along.... this episode starts off on a fabulously sparkly good first step. Unless you are a eunuch, or Paul Linde, how better to kick things off than a sharp close up of Wonderbabe (Natalie LaSpina... she of the brunette locks, yum) in all her pantied glory. I've been told that this site is "family friendly", so you ain't gonna get all her yummyliciousness in stark naked wonder, so this is the next best thing. Anyways, Wonderbabe isn't absolutely certain that her new super hero outfit is working out, though the ass slap workout she giveth herself leads one to believe that a birthday outfit is the best way to go. A minor word to the makers of this fine slice of palatable fluff, in regards to the aforementioned "ass slap".... slow motion and multiple camera angles are your friend.
As Wonderbabe gives herself the once over (you wish, you filthy bastards... she just looks at herself. fuckers!) in the mirror, Batbabe (Olivia Lopez) is Googling her way through the internet, searching for more of the vaunted, mystical Shroom Pops that still hold sway over her and Wonderbabe. Batbear (yes, a teddy bear with wings... don't try to understand it.) keeps her company, as we watch more gratuitous images of Wonderbabe bouncing around. Sadly, we aren't subjected to this lovely sight for the rest of the episode, as there is a plot (somewhere) to be adhered to, whether you like it or not.
The p-l-o-t continues, with the arrival of the newest babe, Secretary Babe (Janna Beth). She walks into the room, cell phone in hand, with Superbabe (The marvelously radiant Alison Whitney) on the other end of the line. Secretary Babe - who I might add looks more like a Catholic schoolgirl than a secretary; not that I'm complaining, but the name and outfit don't exactly match, but since it's Janna wearing the outfit, nobody should really give a flying fuck! - is there to check on the gals for Superbabe. Wonderbabe wants to go shopping, Batbabe needs her some Shroom Pops and Superbabe just wants Secretary Babe to keep 'me busy while she travels around the world (courtesy of some green screen work that would make Steven Colbert jealous... eh, not really, but this is cheap ass shit so go with it) in search of Blowscum (not Scott Bakula, just a piss poor look-alike going by the name of Christian Twiste).
By way of "Community Operations Clean and Kill"... if you can't figure it out, god help you... Superbabe and Secretary Babe have found a way to not only keep the crazy girls busy, but also lure Blowscum and what's left of the Brown Hole Wrecking Crew (Fag #1, played all too convincingly by Mark O'Grady) into a trap. The brilliant idea, that's never been thought up before, except in dozens of suck ass films from the Hollywood cottage industry of "teen sex" movies, is a car wash. Luckily, Blowscum is more than willing to try and tempt fate in search of bringing down the Superbabes, by using his devious alter ego... Christian Twiste. What? Yeah, it's a gayously easy out, but if they could use a computer on Buffy the Vampire Slayer to move the plot along, why can't these guys use this very site for plot purposes?
Anyways, at the community car wash, we learn that Batbabe doesn't do windows or cars, despite the desperately bitchy pleadings of Low-Life by the Car (Michael Guiney). Meanwhile, Wonderbabe has gotten herself a new outfit, in the form of a skin tight black lacy dress, which you can guess should come off sometime soon, as it's become increasingly clear that Wonderbabe knows how to give an audience like you sick fucks what you want. Until then, though, Superbabe and Secretary Babe need to blow off some steam by participating in a pillow fight. Why? I don't know. Neither do the writers of this craptasticular entertainment, but that's what happens, so don't fight it... although, it has been scientifically proven that a pillow is capable of knocking clothes off a nubile young thang, then creating lesbian urges which should undoubtedly be acted out on camera, even if it's barely a snippets worth of time, but doesn't because again, this is a "family" site. Like you, I call bullshit, but until you shell out the bucks for your own site, shut the hell up!
Tangent over.
As the episode draws to an end, Wonderbabe has given in to the greatest of her natures and successfully released her lithe young body from the constraints of that skin tight dress and reduced herself once again, in just the same way as this retarded episode began, to a skimpy little outfit (in this case, a string bikini) and the sight of herself in the mirror. The end.... to be continued (but I refuse to write that out in as gay a manner as the not-so-ambiguously gay editor of this show does, with all that gay ass upper/lower case lettering, which is so goddamned gay that it requires another reference to the king of unrequited gayness, Paul Linde, who did some fabulous work on "The Hollywood Squares" with his gay self.)
eh...
Watch Episode 26: Operation C.O.C.K. Part 1 right now!
About the author: 2005 Mushroom Mag Author of the Year
|
