Christian Twiste
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Design & Editorial Dicktator
Nutley, New Jersey (United States)
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Believes Shakespeare invented humans
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Loves Hawaiian shirts and sandals
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Christian Twiste isn't really qualified to comment on any of the topics he prefers to write about, but that's never stopped him from trying.
christian@eatthemushroom.com
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Geoffrey Ciani
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Self Appointed President
Nutley, New Jersey (United States)
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Has webbed toes
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Is an only child
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Geoffrey Salvatore Ciani shall someday name his first-born son “Santino” because he fancies the name “Santino Ciani”.
geoff@eatthemushroom.com
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Brice Devaney
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The Red Headed Step Child
Hazlet, New Jersey (United States)
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Has bright red hair
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Believes that Mariano Rivera is the greatest player that ever lived
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Brice Devaney is an avid fan of Bruce Springsteen, NY Yankees baseball, and loose women.
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Cameron
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The Last Jibobo
Somewhere in Virginia (United States)
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Is France a country?
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Still looks under his bed for monsters
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Much like Serpentor of GI Joe fame, Cameron blends the DNA of Ayn Rand, Shakespeare, and the bad ass who wrote Beowolf.
cameron@eatthemushroom.com
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Gavin Cramery
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Our very own Kiwi Killer
On screen, he lives in Middle Earth
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Is a citizen of three countries, despite only seeing two out of three
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Is lefthanded, as are all the greats
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Gavin has never been to America. He feels this makes him neutral, and therefore qualifies him to tell Americans exactly how and what to think.
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Zachary Q. Daniels
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Still Loves the Marx Manifesto
Northern United States
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Daniels shares his home with over 20 rabbits that he and his wife keep as pets - not for food!
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In a graduate class Daniels was once told that “a Ph.D. is a certificate of ignorance in everything but the field in which you study.” There is great truth in this remark!!
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Mr. Daniels is a social critic who studies social, economic and political issues related to poverty and social welfare. He hopes that his work will lead to a more equitable distribution of wealth and income.
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Ally Roy
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Here for the Anger Management
London Via Manchester
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Ally is from Manchester, but has moved to London to see what having a job is like
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Makes fast, sweeping judgments, that are usually accurate
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Ally Roy is a Journalism graduate who has a severe anger problem and hopes to use his sizeable talents to induce rage and hate in as many of the readers as possible.
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Bart
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Going on his tenth year of college!
Maastricht, The Netherlands
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Despite being Dutch, only wears clogs to discipline his dog
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He likes to disagree, well that’s not entirely true
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This author’s contributions might come across as somewhat double-dutch; please don’t blame him for it, he can’t help himself.
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David H. Roche
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Keepin’ Jerry's Dream Alive
Fingerlakes (United States)
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I respect no man or God who says they have authority over me
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I am responsible for all I meet
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David fancies himself a utopian dreamer who enjoys writing poetry and being in love. He takes pride in being a cultural subversive as well as being a refugee from the Berkeley riots and card carrying member of Woodstock Nation.
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Santiago
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Don't Mess With Texas!
Texas City, Texas (United States)
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Has lived briefly in Jamaica and Ireland
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Is somewhat of a connoisseur of hot sauces.
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Santiago is a commercial fisherman, college student and boxing fan. His favorite fighter is Erik Morales.
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Jeremy “No Relation” Ebert
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The Far Side
Rockin’ in the free world
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Is your American Idol
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Will kick a child for food
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2005 Mushroom Mag Author of the Year
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Schweeble Boscaci
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Do big words mean big ideas?
Can often be found attempting to reenter the womb of a $10 hooker.
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Enjoys inappropriately interlacing the word “cunt” into his vernacular as often as possible.
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Is often described as… “...actually a very nice guy, he's just a little bit lost at the moment.”
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Schweeble has no formal qualifications or education, yet he is an apprehended musician, a recondite entrepreneur, and a disconsolate philanthropist, albeit with a disdainful proclivity for malapropisms.
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Brian
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Will remember your birthday and still school you…
Birmingham, AL
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Believes the church, being manned by human beings, is guilty of perpetual hypocrisy. Except for the saints it does not practice what it preaches. And therefore it is the world’s most reliable institution because it never changes its teaching.
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Chesterton is right when he says “Merely having an open mind is nothing. The object of opening the mind, as of opening the mouth, is to shut it again on something solid.”
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Brian is the enemy of relativists, ultra liberals, secular extremists, and fundamentalist Darwinists.
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Michael McGlasson
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Call Him Agent Orange
Detroit, Michigan, the “Armpit of the Midwest.”
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Served six months in combat in Vietnam, 1973
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Was once aboard Ferdinand Marco’s yacht in Subic Bay, Philippines, while carrying a loaded .45 automatic
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Michael is an independent scholar/researcher and has been published in a number of scholarly journals.
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Liza Devaney
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Can Kick Abby's Ass
The West Burg, New Jersey (United States)
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Loves the beach and everything that is New Jersey
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Was once a Mexican Refugee
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Liza Devaney is the the wisest member of the Mushroom Staff. Evident in the number of times she has tried to escape.
liza@eatthemushroom.com
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The Master
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His name says it all…
New York, New York (United States)
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What’s a fact?
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There are no facts
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Don’t be a lazy bastard and just read my short bio. Read my full bio!
master@eatthemushroom.com
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St.Valkyrie of the Withered Shrub. Valks on weekends and public holidays.
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Knows what it means to Jabberwocky
Sat on the fence laughing at the silly birds
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I’m a Gemini. This entitles me to be schizophrenic and give in to bouts of Tourettes. Fuck off!
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Known by the local kids as The Crazy Cat Lady
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After being born I found myself thrust into a world where I was forced to grow up, be responsible and become an adult. Now being a lady of a certain age I take great delight in living up to my saintly motto : I’m an adult when I have to be, the rest of the time I’m 12.
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Niki-Lee Williams
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Another Unemployed Brit
Nottingham, England
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Loves whiskey
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Plays tennis
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An Archeology Student at Nottingham University with Philosophy modules. Unemployed, never had a job.
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Alan Hilderbrandt (aka the mole)
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The NeoCon Killer
Eerie, Indiana (United States)
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Loves political confrontation
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Adores muscle cars even though they damage the environment
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The mole is a locally celebrated progressive whose sole purpose in life is to see how deep the rabbit hole goes.
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Ryan Quast
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Captain Nighttime
Fargo, North Dakota (United States)
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Wears size sixteen shoes
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Hates mayonnaise with reckless abandon
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Mr. Quast is the last of the dying breed of Rock Stars. He plays Gibson Guitars and writes almost exclusively with Blue Papermate Ink Pens. On the Internet he goes by the name of “Captain Nighttime”- The Undisputed “King of the Night.”
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Useless Philosopher
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Our own personal police force
Alabaster, Alabama (United States)
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Won police officer of the year for the State of Alabama in 1999
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t to body guard President George H. W. Bush when he visited our city in 2001
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Employee of an urban city police department, rank of Sergeant in crime scene investigations / evidence. Married 18 years, 3 Children ages 17 girl, 9 boy, 7 girl, age 38.
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Cheryl Evans
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The Magic Muffin Momma
Laurence Harbor, NJ (United States)
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She’s fast, not easy!
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Was once a telemarketer for a cemetery
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Cheryl’s been reading Tarot for 12 years and aspires to be the Swami in a traveling circus. Currently, she is just the ringleader of her own.
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Steven O’Neil
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The Scottish Scholar
Glasgow, Scotland
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Had an audition for TV show Gladiators at the ripe old age of 28 but fortunately failed it to prevent having his neck broken by Warrior.
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Wrongly accused of a crime many years ago, he defended himself in court in a flamboyant and Perry Mason like fashion. His behaviour was condemned by the judge as the most bizarre he had ever witnessed. He was found guilty.
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Steven is currently learning the Thai language in order to beat Thai women off with a stick and harass them.
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Queen Dahiyya
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The African Queen
New York | Atlanta (United States)
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Wears head-coverings
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Does not eat meat
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A mother of three children, Queen D has created and been involved with several non-profit ventures.
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Bone
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The Ol’ Professor
Hazlet, New Jersey (United States)
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Is always on the look out for impending disasters
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Hates when fishing lines get tangled
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The Ol’ Professor, a recently retired college instructor, taught history in various junior colleges and universities for the past sixteen years.
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Hairbomb
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The sorest loser of them all
Nutley, New Jersey (United States)
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Served in the Airforce but did not fly planes
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Born in the ghetto of Tuscon
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Um, I drink and play drinking games too seriously.
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Michael DePinto
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Big D.
Hazlet, New Jersey (United States)
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Believes that The Empire Strikes Back is the best movie ever made
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Goal in life is to throw a midget
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Knows fantasy baseball and regular baseball better than you know your own balls.
bigd@eatthemushroom.com
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Mark Andrew
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Doesn’t spit out the wine he tastes
West London, England
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We don't know what a fledgling bespoke tailor company is
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Nor do we know what a gastro-pub might be
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Loves the finer things regardless of whether or not he can afford them.
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Clarkeon
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Above the Law
New Jersey (United States)
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Single father
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Predicate felon
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Loves drinking, drugging and kicking ass.
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Lacey Kyler
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Our own personal expert on right and wrong
San Diego, California (United States)
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Hiccups every ten minutes
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Honest to the point of offensive
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I hiccup every 10 minutes, live for roadtrips, eat anything that isn't nailed down, love sleeping, I'm in the middle of 8 video games and 6 books because ADD kicks in halfway through, my year revolves around the holiday season, self professed tomboy, honest to the point of offensive.
lacey@eatthemushroom.com
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Michael Donohue
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Criticizer in Chief
California (United States)
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Quit drinking alcohol
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Would rather die than give up coffee
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Cachibatches is 33 years old but feels much older. He believes it is easier to criticize than create.
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John Walter
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Steamer
San Diego, California (United States)
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Loves Mexican food
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Closet Star Trek fan
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Steamer's dream in life is to open his own Brewery.
steamer@eatthemushroom.com
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Jenna Johansson
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Angel Boxer
Boston, Massachusetts (United States)
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Is 5 feet 8 inches tall
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Loves horror movies
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A life long boxing fan, Jenna hosts On The Ropes on blog talk radio.
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