Complete episode guide
More than you needed to know about your favorites and not-so-favorites

Episode 30:
Operation C.O.C.K. Part 3
the Superbabes Thrillogy
August 15, 2006
In some other (only slightly different) reality, this episode might actually live up to the full potential of the darling actresses that portray The Superbabes. Back in the real world, a stunning show of incompetence and poor planning on the part of the producers left things a little too short. To remedy the unfortunate situation, some tired old footage from the four prior episodes was artificially added to the beginning. Don't let them try to fool you! The result is a geniune mishmash of shit that dulls the true genius (if any) inherent in the material. Even so, it's probably the best thing Seeking Madam Mushroom has thrust upon us too date. And I haven't even seen it yet, but we're on a schedule here at MCP Headquarters and Self Appointed President Geoffrey Ciani demanding I finish this in advance of seeing the final product. Featuring Alison, Natalie L, Olivia, and Janna Beth. The Thrillogy begins in Operation C.O.C.K Part 1 and part 2. The Superbabes story starts in The Superbabes are on the Loose Part 1.

Episode 30:
Operation C.O.C.K. Part 3
the Superbabes Thrillogy
August 15, 2006
In some other (only slightly different) reality, this episode might actually live up to the full potential of the darling actresses that portray The Superbabes. Back in the real world, a stunning show of incompetence and poor planning on the part of the producers left things a little too short. To remedy the unfortunate situation, some tired old footage from the four prior episodes was artificially added to the beginning. Don't let them try to fool you! The result is a geniune mishmash of shit that dulls the true genius (if any) inherent in the material. Even so, it's probably the best thing Seeking Madam Mushroom has thrust upon us too date. And I haven't even seen it yet, but we're on a schedule here at MCP Headquarters and Self Appointed President Geoffrey Ciani demanding I finish this in advance of seeing the final product. Featuring Alison, Natalie L, Olivia, and Janna Beth. The Thrillogy begins in Operation C.O.C.K Part 1 and part 2. The Superbabes story starts in The Superbabes are on the Loose Part 1.

Episode 29:
Back to basics
August 10, 2006
One might think that—after 28 episodes of this pathetically low-brow and low-budget college dorm room trash—there was nothing left to be filmed and nowhere left to go. And that proverbial one we refer to would probably be right. On the other hand, he or she might not be considering that there are different people that can do the things that need be done. Enter Dina, a charming lass that blends the best of boyish charm with a sensuality that 13-year old boys dream about, and you have the makings of a truly memorable and moving episode of Seeking Madam Mushroom. Unfortunately for Dina and the rest of us, these boys really are out of ideas and couldn't successfully think themselves out of a Jessica Alba/Denise Richards-pre-Charlie Sheen sandwich at the moment. But don't worry, we'll be back! Promises Self Appointed President Geoffrey Ciani. Introducing Dina Cataldi.

Episode 28:
Operation C.O.C.K. Part 2
Part 2 of the new Superbabes Thrillogy
July 24, 2006
The following description of Episode 28 was found at MCP Headquarters. Though it was scribbled on an unsigned rolling paper, it is generally attributed to Self Appointed President Geoffrey Ciani: The world has seen its fair share of trilogies both great and small. On the other hand, there have been precious few events so groundbreaking and spectacular that they deserve to be dubbed thrillogies by virtue of their greatness. While you may argue that history has yet to place Operation C.O.C.K. on such a pedestal, we can say with absolute certainty that the second installment follows in the grand tradition of the first and rises to the task of further developing a complex and intriguing tapestry. Why are Superbabe and Secretary Babe pillowfighting? Is Wonderbabe's new costume a bikini (that she looks smoking hot in)? Will Batbabe kick the lowlife by the car in the balls? And what the hell is Operation C.O.C.K. anyway? These questions and more are answered in the critical middle-chapter of this (probably, hopefully soon to be) award-winning Seeking Madam Mushroom special event. Featuring Alison, Natalie L, Olivia, and Janna Beth. The Thrillogy begins in Operation C.O.C.K Part 1. The Superbabes story starts in The Superbabes are on the Loose Part 1.

Episode 27:
Back to basics
July 20, 2006
Let's face it: Since the very beginning of Seeking Madam Mushroom way back in October 2005, there have been almost limitless criticisms and condemnations levelled at the little project that (we hope) could. Unfortunately for our critics, there isn't much the makers can do to address most of their concerns. When you have no budget and you're a bunch of brokendowns and who are probably drunk, stoned, or God knows what, you only have so many tools at your disposal to fix what needs fixing regardless of how much it might need fixing. On the other hand, the laws of chance dictate that at least a couple items will be under your control. In this case, we find that there is one such item: The stupidity of the story is totally under Self Appointed President Geoffrey Ciani's control. Luckily, he has Lori to take us back to basics, and (hopefully) silence some critics forever about the direction of the series. Introducing Lori Finkel.

Episode 26:
Operation C.O.C.K. Part 1
Part 1 of the new Superbabes Thrillogy
July 7, 2006
Long after it became obvious the creators of this freak-how had run out of ideas, Self Appointed President Geoffrey Ciani called an emergency upper management meeting to radically change direction. An anonymous source reports that Mr. Ciani announced that the entire pageant idea was a waste of time, and the Superbabes are what the people really wanted to see. "I want a new script on my desk in 35 seconds," Mr. Ciani bellowed and rubbed his beard. And so the new Superbabes Thrillogy was born. Interestingly enough, I've heard the creators weren't even clever enouch to come up with the word "Thrillogy" themselves; apparently it comes from Jeremy "NR" Ebert, esteemed author at The Mushroom Mag. Featuring Alison, Natalie L, Olivia, and Janna Beth. The story starts in The Superbabes are on the Loose Part 1.

Episode 25:
Fit to be tied
June 27, 2006
Unfortunately for Seeking Madam Mushroom viewers, no one I have spoken to within or without of Mushroom Cloud Productions has any idea what this episode is about or where it came from. A pasta dinner? What the hell kind of story is that? Who cares whether or not Mark O'Grady gets his pasta or whether or not contestant Natardia Lee Soy is having his baby? What the fuck is going on here? To make matters worse, this episode is actually funny—or at least a little funnier then usual. Natardia is quite charming and talented, and a pasta dinner probably makes a better premise then the rest of the shit these clowns have been shovelling—so maybe rather than questioning it, we few forced to watch this show should just be thankful. Introducing Natardia Lee Soy.

Episode 24:
Southern Attraction
June 20, 2006
Quiet honestly, the only redeeming thing about this episode is the introduction of some (much needed) southern charm. Otherwise, this mish-mash of poorly used cliches and parodies doesn't amount to much more than a puddle of dog-piss steaming up your screen. On the other hand, as I'm supposed to be shilling for the show, Sue Ellen St. Claire is a fine looking contestant with an accent that buckles your knees, and you do get to see a cast member beaten with a bat—if you're into those sorts of puerile thing, petty kicks. Introducing Sue Ellen St. Claire.

Episode 23:
She's a keeper
June 4, 2006
You know a series on it's last legs when the writers have to dig so deep they start parodying Romeo & Juliet. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing but respect for Shakespeare's absolutely brilliant play, but what the fuck does it have to do with Seeking Madam Mushroom you morons? Adding insult to injury, (I have no idea why she's a) contestant Janna Beth is lovely, talented, and deserving enough to play Juliet is some far finer production rather than hanging around with these brokendown scumbags and working on this less than stellar show. As the title suggests, Janna Beth certainly is a keeper—albeit one deserving of a better stage to be kept on. Introducing Janna Beth.

Episode 22:
The darling dragon
May 25, 2006
Finally, we get what we've been wanting to see: Scumbag host Christian Twiste is hit so hard he forgets who he is. Thank you, thank you, thank you, dearest Amy, darling dragon, you might be my favorite contestant for that alone. Otherwise, this episode is a stinker and it's got nothing to do with Amy. The rest of the cast and crew just can't cut it, and the seamy underside is really starting to show even more than the sleazy underside we've already grown to disgust. Guys: Get a real fucking script and hire some real stars, you've assembled a team of clowns and stooges from some pathetic freakshow—but that's just my opinion. Introducing Amy Chin.

Episode 21:
Ten times the charm
May 4, 2006
A mistaken missive from Self Appointed President Geoffrey Ciani results in Scumbag Christian Twiste and Pirate Mark O'Grady planning a tenth birthday party for an unsuspecting, unwilling contestant. Yes, the plot for this thing really is that thin, but there is a piñata, confetti, shroom pops, a baseball bat, and a babe named Katelyn. Geoffrey Ciani explains: It was supposed to be a celebration in honor of Katelyn being the tenth contestant. Christian fucked it up. (For the record, no, she's not the 10th contestant either.) Introducing Katelyn Sullivan.

Episode 20:
The SUperbabes are on the Loose Part 2
April 17, 2006
Mushroom Cloud Productions is proud to have played it's (admittedly) small part in alleviating the (largely) unnecessary and arbitrary horrors of that annual nightmare otherwise known as Tax Day by releasing the second part of the Superbabes special on April 17. While April 17 is not traditionally Tax Day, it is Tax Day in 2006, otherwise known as The Year of the Mushroom (not really), and The Superbabes are on the Loose Part 2 isn't your traditional special anyway. Featuring Alison, Natalie L, and Olivia. If you haven't watched part 1 yet, watch it now and read about it right below. The story continues in Operation C.O.C.K. Part 1 of the new Superbabes Thrillogy.

Episode 19:
The SUperbabes are on the Loose Part 1
April 10, 2006
When asked to describe this opening to the utterly ridiculous Seeking Madam Mushroom 2 episode special feature, Self Appointed President Geoffrey Ciani has been quoted: We wanted to do something really creative, so we had Christian, Marky, and Austin act as if they were gay. Plus babe superheroes are nice, and, of course, you can't forget the built in sequel potential. Part two will be out next week. In fact, we may start making nothing but Superbabe episodes of Seeking Madam Mushroom. Featuring Alison, Natalie L, and Olivia. In case you missed it, episode 20 continues the Superbabes Saga.

Episode 18:
Addictive to love
April 4, 2006
I think we can all agree that there are a few things in the world that pretty much guarantee success. For instance, if you happen to have Bill Gates as a father, you're not likely to be poor. I believe episode 18 is the Seeking Madam Mushroom illustration of that principle in all it's streaming video glory. Meaning: If you combine Shroom Pops, Japanese Karaoke, and a few contortionist tricks—and leave out that scumbag Christian Twiste—you can't help but have a winner on your hands. Introducing Olivia.

Episode 15:
Simply irresistable
March 7, 2006
Seeking Madam Mushroom returns after a 2+ week hiatus with a a truly sexy babe that was more than worth the wait. I know many of you probably thought the delay between episodes was due to our shit-canning the entire project, but we're way too dumb (and horny) to give up that easily. Besides, we have nothing better to do then waste your time with this bullshit, and what better way to waste your time than by watching smoking hot Natalie's feel-it-in-your-pants performance pitching Shroom Pops—oh, how we love those fucking things, whatever the hell they actually are! Introducing Natalie L.

Episode 14:
The Sweedish Bombshell
February 19, 2006
Yes, we spelled "Swedish" wrong, but it doesn't really matter because Anneke isn't even from Sweden. She's actually from Holland, but that doesn't make her anything less of a blonde-haired babe. Even better, she's a blonde-haired babe willing to go skiing with some of the biggest morons whoever lived and have it filmed. In addition, episode 12 features probably the best part of the series so far: the music from James Bond. Introducing Anneke.

Episode 13:
Alison's back
February 5, 2006
I don't know what's more amazing, women actually appearing on the show or a woman as lovely and talented as Alison coming back to work with the scum of the earth once more. If you ask me, questions such as these will probably never have answers, and maybe we're better of not knowing in the first place—just like we shouldn't dare to guess the reasons why the long-awaited Christmas episode was released in February or why Self Appointed President Geoffrey Ciani and crew believe any woman would actually want to join them to compete in the finals at Mushroom Mansion South. Starring Alison.

Episode 12:
Mistress Sasha
January 25, 2006
From it's release, episode 12 has been revered as perhaps the funniest episode in a very unfunny show. Please don't ask me exactly what that means, but—at the very least—we've got the entire cast getting a well-deserved ass-kicking by a professional dominatrix that sings like an opera star. Aside from featuring another babe after the slowest beauty pageant start in human history, fans around the world were delighted to see scumbag host Christian Twiste take a whip to the balls. Introducing Mistress Sasha.

Episode 11:
2 hot 2 touch + 1
January 16, 2006
At this point in the series, die hard fans were still in shock that real life women actually appeared in the show. Well, if there were any die hard fans, they would have been in shock I assure you, but that's not the point. The point is that Self Appointed President Geoffrey Ciani dug deep for episode 11 and doubled—then tripled—the fun by featuring not one or two, but three beautiful women. And, as if that weren't shocking enough, one of them was in clear heels. Need I say more?

Episode 10:
Erika’s on top!
December 30, 2005
In a surprising turn of events, Seeking Madam Mushroom actually ends the year with another on-screen babe. Amazing as it sounds given the incredibly slow start to the series, charming Erika Antinis takes center stage in Episode 10, fending off the unwanted advances of Christian Twiste and the rest of the drunken, broke-dick crew. We don’t envy her that, but we do thank her for lending some considerable sex appeal to the beggars that needed it most, and helping to wrap up the year on a high-note. Introducing Erica Antinis.

Episode 9:
A very sweet Christmas
December 20, 2005
Oddly enough, the Christmas episode doesn’t have anything at all to do with Christmas. I was told by Self Appointed President Geoffrey Ciani that the real Christmas episode would air sometime in late January or early February. What the fuck are these people doing? Luckily for viewers, there’s some more Alison to lighten the shadows cast by the rest of the bums competing for her attention in a series of stupid phone calls. Like she would ever call anybody from this operation back! Also, New Jersey Recruiter Dude Donato is introduced for the first time to coincide with the release of his close relative, King Kong. Starring Alison.

Episode 8:
The sweetest thing
December 9, 2005
Like the sweetest of angels sent from high above, the lovely and talented Alison arrives to save the entire concept from the brink of disaster. After all, how many episodes could these clowns try to peddle without actually including real life babes? Thanks to Miss Whitney, we’ll never know the answer to that question—and that’s a good thing, for I fear these idiots would’ve gone on forever with or without any women. Luckily for series fans (if there are any), Episode 8 marks a turning point for the show, and Alison sets the standard by which all other contestants will be measured. Trust me, she’s the blonde babe that saved us all—without her, we’d all be subject to much more of that annoying fucking host! Introducing Alison.

Episode 7:
The better late than never Thanksgiving
November 26, 2005
It’s a better late than never Thanksgiving celebration, but you’re probably better off not watching it. There are still no real babes, only recycled footage from previous flops and a sophomoric list of things the inconceivably miserable host is thankful for—as if anyone cares!

Episode 6:
They don’t even know they’re contestants
November 19, 2005
Finally what might be real contestants are announced, but does it truly count if they don’t know they’re contestants? We don’t rightly know and we don’t rightly care. Episode 6 takes viewers into new territory—a show which might include babes that might be British. Unfortunately for the poor bastards suckered into watching this sled, the British babes appear only in photographs that could well have been stolen from some other website.

Episode 5:
Elvis has left the building
November 11, 2005
Christian returns from his own personal Mexican hell to take back the show in shockingly uneventful fashion. Luckily for our limited viewer ship, he is armed with somewhat entertaining footage of girls on the beach and a thrilling performance by an Elvis impersonator. There’s almost a babe in this one, and there’s definitely a shirtless dude singing if you are into that sort of thing.

Episode 4:
The new hosts of Seeking Madam Mushroom
October 31, 2005
In one of the lowest moves in the history of a business built on low moves, Austin and Marky steal the show from the rightful and self-appointed host while said host is trapped in fucking Mexico following six shower-less and beer-less days in a hurricane shelter hiding from Wilma. Even though it was finished well before release date, the nit-wit creators of this train wreck lacked the technical skills to post the episode and, as a result, it languished unseen until the true host returned. There are still no babes near this pathetic attempt at a beauty pageant.

Episode 3:
We’re not a cooking show
October 16, 2005
In this first truly pathetic attempt at skit-oriented humor, the inept, hawk-nosed, Quantum Leap-looking host embarrasses himself while trying to explain what the show is by what it isn’t. There are still no babes. An absolutely awful concept and horrendous execution doomed this worthless treasure to the scrap heap of history, but you can watch it by clicking here or on the title above.

Episode 2:
The big board
October 10, 2005
Episode 2 continues and refines the utter incompetence combined with alcoholic beverages that made Episode 1 lack even the charms imparted by total obscurity. There are still no babes. Absolutely nothing new is added here, except the first appearance of Marky and Austin. After watching this wondrous example of shittiness, you will definitely wonder how and why another episode was ever made.

Episode 1:
What the fuck are you people doing?
October 9, 2005
The unique blend of exceptional stupidity, piss-poor production values, and a truly terrible host, that started it all. Both critics and the public at large responded with a resounding: We don’t get it, it’s nothing but a bunch of geeks with a camera and nary a babe near the place. Did I mention that we were very, very drunk the morning we filmed this clunker?