The Finals
aND tHE feature length documentary
The finals have been filmed, and the film will be out sometime soon. Read the exclusive interview with Self Appointed President Geoffrey Ciani! Watch the first teaser of footage from the feature filmed on location in the Outerbanks, North Carolina .
Brought to you by the world's smallest media empire, The Finals represent the culmination of almost a year of Herculean effort, unmatched creative genius, and impeccable long range planning by the masterminds at MCP headquarters. They are the only official finals for the Seeking Madam Mushroom beauty pageant / reality show / what the hell are these idiots doing? and they are also the subject of a full length documentary to be available on DVD, and thankfully a whole host of sponsorship opportunities are available so we don't have to pull this entire potential disaster off on our own.
In short—for better or for worse—nothing quite like the finals has ever been attempted in the whole history of the world. Self Appointed President (SAP) Geoffrey Ciani describes them as a "tremendous leap forward for geeks, nerds, and assorted social misfits around the world."
"If our cast of scumbags, degenerates, alcholics, and brokendowns—I'm talking about you Christian Twiste—can hang out with babes and get them to do stupid stuff on camera for a fake contest," Mr. Ciani explains, "anyone can. You can train a fucking monkey to run this show! Did we mention that sponsorship opportunities are available? "
While the secrecy surrounding this exciting an innovative project is unprecedented, we are able to state with near certainty that an unspecified number of Seeking Madam Mushroom contestants have competed in an unknown number of undetermined events to claim the unseen but still coveted Madam Mushroom Crown. There are also rumors circulating about an entirely different plot shown side-by-side with the pageant featuring the Superbabes.
These events have occurred on or about September 9-16, 2006 at Mushroom Mansion South—apparently located somewhere near some East Coast beach—and the proceeding have been filmed to form the basis of an untitled, unscripted, and ill-conceived documentary of unknown length to be released at a yet-to-be-determined date in some form of yet-to-be-announced DVD.
The brokendown host of the program, Christian Twiste, regrets the shroud of secrecy that must hide most of the details. "We assure you," Mr. Twiste explains, "these precautions are for your safety, not ours. Either that, or it's because we have no idea what we're actually did yet, but don't worry, we'll find out."
Luckily for our admittedly small but hopefully eager audience, both Mr. Twiste and Mr. Ciani make assurances that such details will (probably) not be held in secret forever. After all, there is supposed to a feature film of this thing coming out in 2007.
There is no entry fee to participate in this event, and all personal information will be kept private. You must be 18 years of age or older to participate.
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